The X-Project

In which Terry finds someone to talk to, about the woes of being a
misunderstood teenager and a few other things that might have
surprised her father had things not escalated into a screaming match
earlier.


Terry sat in front of her harp, playing from memory a song she'd
learned when she was just beginning to play. The song was simple and
sweet, easy for a child's hands to play and was just mindless enough
that Terry didn't have to focus too much on it. Nevertheless her face
was tight with concentration. Her eyes were red though she'd finally
stopped crying. Her throat felt hot but she hoped that it wouldn't
affect her voice lesson. Today had been bad enough.

Alison was early, to put it mildly. The fight had been hard to miss,
familiar sonics shivering over her skin even from within her room in
the mansion. Walking in quietly, she closed the door behind her and
wandered over to a nearby chair, letting the girl play out the tune
note by note, rather than disturbing her just yet, the obvious signs
of tears not surprising her in the least considering the ugliness of
the words exchanged earlier.

Terry flattened her hands over the harp strings, stilling them and
swallowed hard. She looked over at Alison, face subdued. "I'm
sorry," she said quietly, gripping the seat of her stool, shoulders
hunched.

A raised eyebrow oh so briefly greeted that comment, the silent
question remaining unspoken - it didn't matter what Terry was sorry
for specifically, Alison decided. She wasn't hiding out and she wasn't
running away, and it was Terry. She just rose to her feet, now that
the playing had stopped, and walked over to Terry, unhesitatingly
reaching out to hug her.

Terry went to Alison gratefully and clung to her around the waist. "I
know I shouldn't have screamed," she apologized again, her voice
getting choked again, "I swear it wasn't not having control. I was
just so mad at him. I can't hurt him or anything." Terry sniffled and
tried not to cry.

"Oh sweetie," Alison shook her head at that, holding on tightly. She'd
been teaching Terry about singing, but they hadn't hit lyric writing
yet. She sighed, patting her hair gently. "Not with your power, no,
you can't hurt him." It wasn't an accusation in the least and her
voice was gently. Terry could see the underlying meaning or not, as
she saw fit.

"I didn't want to fight with him." Terry pulled away and scrubbed at
her eyes. "He's been gone and I thought maybe this time we could
actually get along. But he just started yelling at me about Vegas
and..." she trailed off. "I thought we were doing better is all."

"It must have been a rude surprise for him to find out that way,"
Alison said idly, reaching out to tuck a strand of red hair behind
Terry's ear, smoothing the rest of curl down before brushing her cheek
lightly of dampness. "And it must not have been fun to be on the end
of his reaction to that surprise." Two very possible truths, that.
Nasty surprises were never fun.

"He didn't even ask. Just yelled at me." Terry shook her head and
sniffled again, "So I yelled back because if that's the way things
were why should I bother?"

Drawing her back in close, Alison hid the somewhat resigned smile that
escaped her briefly - of course, why bother trying to stay calm when
you could yell? "You were happy he was back, before he started to
yell..." She trailed off - if Terry admitted to even that much, it
would be something. Though she might not, now.

"He'd been gone. I...I guess I was worried." Terry found it easy to be
honest with Alison even when it wasn't something she was honest with
herself about. "But then he attacked me and Nathan and Uncle Tom
and...He just doesn't understand! He thinks he's always right!"

"Mmm." Rocking Terry gently, pure habit kicking in, Alison considered
that admission carefully. Getting Terry to see that maybe Sean has
just reacted badly from pure shock at what he'd seen probably wasn't
going to happen - Sean had made enough of a mess of that argument to
give Terry more than a few ways out on that one. The being away for
five months wasn't helping either. "Maybe he was just really angry at
himself for not being there, but not able to admit it out loud just
yet," she murmured, though she wasn't about to push the point. "Enh.
And once you hit the screaming back and forth, it's never easy to
actually really figure out what anyone is truly upset about, is it?"

Terry shrugged sullenly, letting herself be rocked, utterly miserable.
"He doesn't even care that we did good stuff in Vegas. He doesn't
care about what's important to me. It's all about his vision of this
perfect family." She rubbed her hand over her eyes again, "It's too
late for that though. I'm sixteen."

There was serious doubt in Alison's mind that perfect visions of
anything were involved, but she didn't say it out loud. "Did he
say nothing that you wanted was important?" she asked, already
knowing the answer to that one but giving it a shot anyway.

"Not in those words." Which meant yes as far as Terry was concerned.
"But Sean doesn't want me, he just wants the daughter he thinks I
should be. Like now that he's here I should just forgive everything
and forget that I had a whole life without him." She tugged away and
started pacing, "Sean hates Uncle Tom. He hates him--the man who
raised me like his own."

Ah yes, there it was. Alison let her pace, watching her calmly. "I
don't understand something... He didn't even know about your existence
until you turned eleven, Terry." She reserved any comment on Tom
Cassidy or what he'd done while 'raising' Terry, firmly so. Clearly
that would not win her any points at all. "How could Sean have done
anything to find you when he didn't even know?"

"That's not the point." Terry stopped and turned to face Alison, "I
know he didn't know I existed. The point is he hates my uncle.
How can he hate him and expect me to be any different?" The unspoken
question lingered in the air: "how can he not hate me?"

"He doesn't look for the flaws in you, Terry," Alison finally said,
stepping closer to tap her chin gently, leaving it at that for now.
"He looks for all the good, and he probably hates that he missed the
chance to have a part of shaping all of that good." It wasn't perfect,
but it was an answer of a sorts. "You're a wonderful, clever and
kind-hearted young lady, Terry Cassidy. And you stand on your own very
well."

Terry looked up at Alison, eyes wide and fragile. "I miss Uncle Tom,"
she admitted softly, "Sure and he wasn't the best of men but I loved
him. And now he's gone and Sean's never here. I don't want to lean
on anyone who might leave me again."

The mission on Saturday loomed ahead at that and Alison reached out
carefully, drawing the girl closer. "No one ever wants that, Terry."
There were choices she'd made, over and over again - but they were not
tying her down in this place, by the very nature of the fact that
she'd chosen this life and this path. "I wish I could promise you I'll be there
forever, but I can't. Some things you don't get to choose, sometimes. But I can
promise you I'll try."

Terry sniffled again and nodded, hugging Alison tightly. She accepted
that even if she didn't like it. But so long as Alison promised to
try, Terry was willing to have faith. Terry didn't like
guarantees. "I didn't want to fight with him," she said one more time.

"I believe you, sweetie." Alison did, at that - Terry throwing that
movie night right as Sean returned had been one way for her to show
her feelings, really. "I believe you." She held her close, smoothing
her hair gently again. "Just give it some time to calm down and then
we'll see what we can do, mm?"

"It's just getting worse. Look at this time. The lawn is all ripped up
and neither of us lacks control. I don't know that there is anything I
can do." Terry sighed, resting her head on Alison's shoulder. "In the
meantime yeh're going to make me sing, aren't yeh?"

Maybe having a mediator there would help, the next time, Alison
decided. And well - if anyone was suited to arbitrating for those two,
it might as well be the one person they wouldn't harm if they decided
to start yelling that way again. "Well, if you want to. Means I get to
spend time with you so I'm not complaining, mm?" After all, she did
enjoy the lessons with Terry, very much. "Or we could make a special
exception today and work with Faith, instead, if you like?"

Terry's face lit up, "That would be great!" She'd expected to have
another control lesson which were boring, repetitive and tiring.
Lessons with Faith were another league entirely. "Thanks, Alison!"
Impulsively Terry gave Alison an exuberant hug and a kiss on the cheek
then blushing madly. "I'll get Faith." She darted away.

Alison watched her go, relieved she'd managed to put a smile on
Terry's face at least, after the morning's events. The smile faded
into worry however as she was left alone in the music room, waiting
for Terry to return.