The X-Project

Monday afternoon, Adrienne takes Matt shopping for school clothes and discusses his recovery addict to addict, plus his new relationship with Sue.

Caution: Possible triggers



After the final buzzer had gone for the day and Adrienne had gathered up her first pop quizzes of the new school year, she shut the lights off in her classroom and headed through the mansion towards the kitchen to grab a snack, intending to bring it up to her suite so she could flop down on her couch and mark the papers while she ate. Something on the tv caught her attention as she walked past the common room, however, and she poked her head in. "Not one of those students who does their homework right after class to get it out of the way, eh, Mister Murdock?" she asked in an easygoing tone.

Matt was laying on a couch flipping channels with the remote. "I'm reading," he replied, holding up a book. "Dont have much to do yet," he added, as an explanation. Normally, Matt was the one who did his homework immediately in case he had to get help transcribing it or something with math. He didn't have a lot today though.

That had been exactly what Adrienne had wanted to hear. "If that's the case, I think you should come shopping with me," she suggested in an overly-pleasant, this-isn't-really-a-casual-suggestion kind of way.

Groaning a protest, Matt bookmarked his page, "Why?" he asked, not so much for curiosity as much as a 'why him?'' Why was he picked "And for what?"

"For articles of clothing that are not denim or in the t-shirt family," she answered cheerfully, and then thought of an answer to the first part of the question. "And because... you're a senior now, and you're gonna be class president. You mentioned your college transcripts in your journal post last week, so I know you're thinking about your future, about life after high school. And that life is eventually gonna require you to wear something beyond jeans and t-shirts. So why not start now?"

Ugh, really? Was he being punished? He hadn't done anything! He was clean, dammit! "I like jeans and t-shirts," Matt argued, but he at least sat up just to be polite. She was a teacher after all. "Anyways...the class president thing was sort of a joke since there's only the two of us. I do want it on my transcript though," that'd be cool. Drug addict AND class president. Hopefully they wouldn't look too closely at the size of his graduating class.

"Everyone likes jeans and t-shirts," Adrienne smirked, shrugging, "but you can't wear them every day in the business world. Hell, you can't even wear them to most decent restaurants in this city. I'm not saying you need a three-piece suit," she assured him. "Or even a tie. I'm just saying... if you don't get a pair of Dockers and a shirt with a collar, you're gonna miss out on a lot of really amazing food," she said in her best persuasive voice.

"I'm not in the business world," Matt protested, "I don't have a job! Anyways, I don't have to go to court anytime soon," he crossed his arms with a so-there sort of tone. Though, he did like food. And there weren't ties involved. Hmmm...

"You don't have a job yet," Adrienne pointed out gently. And then his comment about court sunk in and a piece of the puzzle fell into place. Adrienne perched on the arm of the couch. "No..." she said, drawing it out to two syllables, "of course you don't have to go to court. But preppy clothes aren't just for court," she reminded him, smiling. "You wear them to, y'know, restaurants, Christmas and Easter Mass, job interviews, college internships, client meetings, charity benefits, weddings, I dunno... vineyards?" She couldn't think of anything else at the moment. "Is that why you don't want dressier clothes? Because they make you think of having to go to court?"

"I just wear jeans to mass, no one's cared," Matt argued, then paused, "Vineyards? What the hell?" He didn't really expect a reply though as she caught on about the court thing. Reluctantly, he nodded, "My social worker always makes sure I got a pair of khaki pants and a white button up shirt when I have to before the judge for stuff," he admitted. Those were his dressiest clothes. Since he didn't wear them much, they were kept up well.

Adrienne snorted in amusement at his comment about the vineyards and didn't bother to elaborate. "Ohhh," she said in response to what he told her about his social worker, in a tone that indicated she'd come upon some sort of revelation, " well I don't want you to get khakis and white dress shirts! Those are totally court clothes," she scoffed, waving a hand dismissively even though she knew he couldn't see it. "Or, like, middle school jazz band clothes. I'm talking about... rugby shirts, or polos. Way fewer buttons," she grinned. "And, I dunno, a pair of cords or even cargo pants." That was a bit of compromise, but at this point Adrienne just wanted to win the 'anything but jeans' battle. "You could rock the rugby shirt and cargo pants."

Actually, he could see the gesture, thanks to his sonar. It wasn't fine enough for faces or expressions, but he could get basic movements and things. It all depending on how much sound he was working with. Sensing that he was going to be taken shopping whether he liked it or not, Matt sighed and got up, "Lemme get my cane and stuff," he finally offered grudgingly. "And what are rugby shirts?" Polo's were for tools.

"They're what rugby players wear," Adrienne answered lamely, caught off guard. "I guess they're like, less preppy polo or golf shirts? Usually three-buttons. Pullovers. They have collars but they're not starchy at all," she pointed out, since she thought he might like that part. "They come in long-sleeve, too, which polos and golfs never seem to do. Nice and loose, easy to move around in."

"Yeah, I guess..." Matt retrieved his cane and cell phone from his room, then returned back to the common area. "I got some sweaters and stuff for the winter. And a hoodie," he liked his hoodie, it was the warmest, softest thing ever, but he couldn't wear it all the time. It was still much too warm to wear it no matter how much he liked it. "I'm not gonna freeze."

"That's good," Adrienne nodded, not debating the fact. "Look, this is gonna be totally painless," she assured him, sensing he was still very much against the idea of this shopping trip. "I'll even take you for food after. Wherever you want."

"Normally Wade takes me shopping," Matt replied "We just go to Walmart. That work for you?" Wade had been pretty busy recently and not around all that much. "There is always food after. I'll think about where," on the one hand, he didn't like spicy foods. On the other, a chance to eat away from the school! Lorna was an excellent cook, but sometimes things got a little old.

"It's a place to start," Adrienne replied cheerfully as she led the way towards the garage. "Anywhere else you want to go today, now that you're finally allowed off campus?"

Matt shook his head. He wasn't much for shopping and video game stores didn't hold any appeal. Bookstores didn't usually carry braille books either, so what was the point in that? "I'd like to get some more itunes gift cards for more music," he finally allowed. That, too, was online shopping though. He liked itunes, they had a good audio system that he had figured out without too much problem and now liked to download music onto his ipod.

"Sounds good to me." Adrienne gave a wistful look towards her motorcycle but signed out a car- the better to bring home lots and lots of clothes. "Does music help keep your mind off of wanting drugs?" she inquired curiously, tactful as ever. "Because it sure as hell never worked for me." She played with her fifteen-year chip in her pocket, nervous suddenly. She'd never mentioned her addiction to a student before.

His addiction was reasonably common knowledge, especially to the staff, but few went out and just asked like that. "No," he replied, "but I l like music regardless. Being active helps though," he got in the car and buckled up, folding his cane automatically to keep it out of the way, "And uh...you're an addict?" No one had mentioned that there was another teacher here! He knew about Amanda and called her on occasion, though she was usually busy with what secret stuff she did. She called him back, just not always quickly. "I mean...um. Yeah."

"Being active's good, yeah," she agreed, starting the car. "And... yeah. I... I would have said something earlier, y'know, made sure you knew I was here for you if you needed help staying clean. Except I wasn't really in a good position to do that last year.. But... I feel like I am now." Despite how Genosha had affected her, going to meetings regularly since last Thanksgiving had given her back her feeling of stability, at least as much as she'd always felt stable living at the mansion. "So, if you ever need to talk... you know," she trailed off awkwardly, no good at these kinds of things. "Also, speaking of being active, I'm planning on starting up a chess club at the school. Sue used to play competitively and I know Layla's learning. Have you ever played?"

"Chess is so not active," Matt pointed out, not replying to her offer to talk or anything. He appreciated it, but...he didn't want to agree to it, if he didn't mean it. "But yeah, I know how to play. How long have you been clean?"

"It keeps your brain active," Adrienne countered with a smirk. "Just like math." She pulled her chip out of her pocket and pressed it into his hand. The figure 15 was raised on the plastic surface. "But I nearly used again last year. Sometimes it's still really fucking hard, even after fifteen years," she said with a wry snort. "That's why you need people to talk to. But most days, you can get by not thinking about it anymore," she added as an afterthought. "I mean, it will get better. I know that's what everyone says, but in this case it's... actually true." She didn't want the kid to think he couldn't get past this if he wanted to badly enough.

That was the thing with addiction. It never went away. It got easier to handle, it got quieter for longer periods when it was under control, but it never went away. "I don't like math," Matt retorted, but it was without venom. Math in braille just sucked. He felt the chip in his hand, turning it over. He'd had a one-year marker, but...not anymore. Now he was starting all over again. He handed the chip back to her, feeling like 15 years was a lifetime away. It was nearly his entire life so far, "Well, it gets better assuming it doesn't get worse," Matt pointed out. "I mean, if you don't fall off the wagon again. I don't want to use again. It's just...hard. Nothing worth it is ever easy."

Adrienne rubbed the chip between her fingers affectionately before putting it back in her pocket. "Yeah, that's true," she agreed in response to his comment about it getting better if it didn't get worse. "It got worse for me a couple times after I came out of rehab," she admitted. "That's why I've only got the fifteen year chip instead of the eighteen. But once it really takes, the decision not to use, then yeah. It gets better. It's definitely hard, but you're right. It's not worth it if it's easy. And because it's so hard, every day you get through without using is that much more rewarding. Knowing you don't want to use again is really, really good," she nodded, smiling.

She made a lot of sense and Matt nodded, absently playing with his cane as they drove. It was nice to hear this from someone other than his counselor, too. He took a deep breath, "Yeah. I dunno. I've gotten into parkour and restarted gymnastics, which helps a lot. Being active and stuff. Not sitting around and dwelling on it all," his counselor had suggested he try to find a new hobby or start up an old one. So far he liked it and it was working out.

Adrienne smirked to herself. "Being flexible's never a bad thing," she murmured. "What's parkour?"

He'd done gymnastics for years, though it had mostly fallen to the wayside until recently. He was glad to get back into it too, he'd missed it. "Parkour is this thing...kinda like gymnastics except you use it more in the real world. Um..." Describing it was hard, "like if it's faster to climb a wall instead of waiting for the elevator, then you use parkour to do that. It's about getting places the quickest, most efficient way, utilizing your whole environment, not just the stairs or other more conventional methods."

Adrienne took a second to digest this information. "That sounds really cool. But I think I'll stick to my swimming and boxing to keep active," she smiled.

"Boxing?" that perked Matt right up, even if he had mostly gotten over the whole being forced to go shopping thing, "You box?"

Chuckling, Adrienne nodded. She always enjoyed it when she could surprise people and she sensed Matt was surprised. "Yeah, I started learning a few years ago. I love it. Of course, I still keep getting my ass kicked when I get jumped by more than one person at a time, so maybe I should start learning this parkour stuff so I can scale walls and make daring escapes. Of course, I'd probably be more likely to fall to my death," she smirked, still going back to her original thought about why she wanted to stick to swimming and boxing in the first place.

"Boxing ain't fighting though," that was the first thing a boxer had to learn. "Not as a method of self defense. It'll teach you to take a hit though," his voice unintentionally got a little heavier as his accent for thicker.

"This is true," the brunette answered with a chuckle, using it as a response for all three of his statements. "You are a very wise man. Your dad was a boxer, right?"

Matt nodded, "Yeah. Heavy weight. Never got to the point where pay-per-view got interested though," he was a local fighter, nothing important. At least, not in the boxing world. "He was doing real well when he died though. Height of his career at 42. It was a great comeback," it had all been rigged, but Matt didn't let on that he knew. He hadn't heard it all, but he had heard enough to put the pieces together. His dad had worked for the mob and they'd been fixing his fights, then hadn't taken a dive like he was supposed to.

Adrienne couldn't recall how his father had died, and she didn't want to ask, so instead she just said "That's really cool," about the comeback. "Did he ever teach you any boxing when you were a kid?"

"Not really," Matt wished he had, "He didn't want me to fight and be like him. He wanted me to study, you know? Finish high school and go to college. But, yeah, hard not to learn at least some. Went to all his matches."

"That's really cool of him, wanting you to do well in school," Adrienne commented, nodding. "Sounds like he was a smart man." She was going to add 'you must miss him a lot,' since that seemed to be what followed in these conversations, but she didn't want to make him mopey when she was already dragging him shopping, so she held back. "So what do you think you want to study in college?" she asked instead.

His dad....hadn't been all that book smart or well read or anything like that, but he had known life and had plenty of street smarts. "No idea," Matt replied "I...dunno what I can do, exactly," he finally admitted. "I'm bad at math so nothing that requires much of that. My dad wanted me to be a doctor, but I think being blind knocks that out. Maybe criminology? Since I've had experience with that? Except I dunno what I can with that being blind," there weren't too many blind people working that he knew of outside of martial arts gurus from bad action movies. "Maybe a teacher?"

"Teaching's always a good option. I'm probably supposed to say it's rewarding. That's what people ususally say when they try to sell people on teaching, right? 'Oh, you should become a teacher, it's so rewarding.' Which," she mused, "is not to say it isn't. I just never got why that was such a big selling point. Especially when you're trying to sell it to high schoolers. But I guess it's nicer to put it that way than to say it's a power trip," she joked. Sort of joked.

"Not really sure I want to do that. I mean, where other than Xavier's or a blind school?" That was the thing, he had no idea what he could do being blind. His powers helped to accommodate things so he didn't come off as blind sometimes, but he couldn't read a computer screen without a braille reader and audio software and that was assuming the webpage was even set up for that sort of thing!

"You could teach anywhere you wanted as long as it was the right subject, I'd think," Adrienne encouraged. "Social sciences, history, language arts. Something like that. But there are a ton of other careers that you can have even being blind," she added in her helpful voice. "You could go into psychiatry or psychology? Although those may be the same thing, I actually have no idea," she admitted with a snort. "Umm... law? Social work? You could write novels, or newspaper columns or something? Program computers? Start selling sculptures or art or designing, I dunno, furniture?" She really had no idea what Matt was into so she'd tried to run the gamut of different types of things. "What do you like doing?"

He sighed, "I like history and English and stuff. Anything like that," maybe he could be a writer or something, "Those are a lot of options. I guess I could do some of that," he didn't much want to be a teacher, he just didn't know his options. "I like gymnastics, but I can't do that. Maybe law or something would work. Even if it meant wearing a tie," he wrinkled his nose.

"Could be worse," Adrienne pointed out with a wide grin, "you could live in England or Canada where lawyers have to wear the robes and the wigs in court." Wait, what? "People still do that?" he asked, shocked. He'd had no idea. "That's crazy!"

Adrienne laughed. "See? Now having to wear khakis and a button-down shirt doesn't seem all that horrible, does it?" Matt crossed his arms, "That's the thing with law. Gotta go to court."

"Well... yeah," Adrienne agreed, glancing over at Matt for a moment as she drove. "But as the lawyer you get to help kids try to stay out of trouble and be better for themselves, just like your dad did for you... instead of getting scolded by a judge yourself. Right?"

"Public defenders don't care," Matt pointed out, "Never met a lawyer who did," his dad had had a few run ins with the law that he knew about and those lawyers had never given a damn. Nor had his own lawyers. "Law's interesting enough, 'cept lawyers suck."

"Okay, forgive me the old person sappiness touchy-feely crap," Adrienne forewarned, "but if you think they suck then I think you should be the exception to that. After all, you are pretty..." she pretended to gag on her own thought. "Exceptional." She gagged some more, glad Matt couldn't see how uncomfortable she looked even saying something so... maternal.

"And now you sound like a teacher," his tone was a pretty good indication of what he thought even without the obligatory eyeroll. He wasn't a fan of maternal or too much sappiness, "Are we almost there?" It was always hard to tell when cars were so thoroughly soundproofed.

"Damn, I hate it when that happens," muttered Adrienne. And as to whether they were almost there? "Yeah, very nearly, thank Christ. Look, can we never, ever speak of this conversation again?" she pleaded, half-smirking.

"I'm good with that," Matt agreed. "You are so owing me food though. Between this conversation and shopping? Lots of food. Maybe an all you can eat buffet," he smirked, teasing. Matt had a great appetite and could put away a generous volume of food when he wanted to, though that was inhibited sometimes by migraines and other things.

Adrienne nodded vehemently. "Sold!"

***

Trying on clothes sucked, but Adrienne had insisted so Matt put up with it, grudgingly. He had to admit, it did sort of help to find his correct size and he had grown an inch for his pants inseam. Oops. "How's this?" he asked, coming out to show the teacher. He still wasn't so sure about this, but the cargo pants were pretty comfortable, just as comfortable as his jeans and the long sleeved shirt felt like a t-shirt. "Think Sue'll like it?"

"Looks gr- uhh, what?" he'd caught her off guard again. Adrienne knew from the same journal entry in which she'd learned that he wanted to be class president for his college transcripts that he liked Sue, but she'd hoped it had just been a passing fancy and that he hadn't actually been serious. Apparently not. "Umm..." she decided to go into this probably-unpleasant conversation as innocently as possible. "Why does it matter if Sue likes it? Do you like her?"

"We went out the other day," Matt replied. "But yeah, I like her. She's cool," they'd had fun together. He wanted to go out with her again and maybe more, but he hadn't yet gotten the guts up to ask her out again or anything. Yet.

"She is," Adrienne agreed with a smile. "So you think she's like... girlfriend material? Or... you like her and think she's cool in more of a 'it's fun to hang out with her but I'm really focused on keeping my addiction in check right now so I know I shouldn't have a girlfriend' type of way?" Not that that was in any way a leading question at all, or anything.

Oh so that's how it was, was it? "I'm not gonna relapse," Matt assured her, crossing his arms over his chest, "I don't want to. And that's the biggest part, right? You gotta want to be clean and I do. But yeah, like a girlfriend. I'm 17. Hormones raging?" Not that he and Sue had done much beyond holding hands and a little kissing, but still. "She gets a say in it all too."

Adrienne's palms went up defensively. "Okay, fine. Do whatever you want." She wasn't his mother. "Yeah, wanting to be clean is important. And yeah, she gets a say. Look, do whatever you want," she repeated. "I'm just saying..." What was she saying? "I think you run into dangerous territory when newly deciding you want to stay clean collides with new girlfriend. It just... okay, this may sound ridiculous now, but just indulge me a sec. Right now, it's probably really hard to know who you are when you're clean, right? What kind of person you are. You know who you want to be, which is awesome. But you don't have experience being that clean person yet, being okay with your life as that person.

"So, anyway, maybe you start dating Sue and you stay clean and you have this awesome life, right? But like you say, you're seventeen. Yeah, maybe you guys will be together forever and you'll never use again. But what if you're not together forever? What if you catch her macking on some other guy some day? Or what if you realize you like someone else and you break up with Sue and start all over again from square one with some new girl? Then... it becomes so much easier to go back to using again. Trust me. Because you don't have any experience with yourself being clean without her. Whereas... if you focus on yourself now, get to a place where you, alone, are staying clean for your own reasons, something that isn't dependent on any other person, then no matter what happens in the future with any girl, or... any stressful situation you have to face, really... you have that foundation that is gonna stay with you, that... self-knowledge of what being clean- for yourself- is like. But," she shrugged, "do whatever you want. I know as well as anyone that you gotta figure these things out for yourself rather than just hearing other people preach them at you." Matt sighed. Did they really have to go into this now? "But I wasn't with Sue before anything or even when I was using," he pointed out. "And I was on E for like, a month. I've been off it longer than that. It's not like I did crack for years and years. And I was clean for more than a year before that. And single. I can do this, Adrienne," Matt insisted. "This isn't going to dictate my life. It's a part of it and I can work with that, but it doesn't control me." He was more than 'just' an addict.

Nodding, Adrienne put her hands down. "Okay. That's what I would have told me, too," she smirked. "Please yourself. Just make sure you hang on to those statements- that it doesn't control you and that you can work with this part of your life. Don't slack off on staying clean just so you can go make out with Sue in a closet somewhere," she warned, albeit teasingly

He wasn't sure if he should be pleased that she was backing off because he won or because this was one of those situations where the adults were gonna let him make his own mistakes. He hated the latter. "If I'm making out with Sue I'm not using," he pointed out as he headed back into the dressing room. Given Adrienne's lack of comments about how things didn't fit, he assumed it was fine.

"Touché," Adrienne snorted, amused. "I'm gonna toss a couple more shirts at you, and another pair of slacks," she called out as a warning, dashing off to grab a couple things off nearby racks. "Now that I know you want to dress to impress Sue- even though I don't think you need to- we have more work to do. See what happens when you want a girlfriend?" she mock-scolded, lobbing the clothes a piece at a time over the fitting room door.

"What's the design on this shirt?" Matt asked, feeling some sort of paint or something over part of it. He usually stuck to solid colours so he didn't have to worry about things like designs. "And I still hate slacks!" He wasn't ironing. That was not happening. "And would it be different if I wanted a boyfriend?" he asked, curious. He wasn't interested in guys.

"What? No, of course not! I just meant it would be different if you wanted to stay single," Adrienne explained. "And it's some sort of bird. A really fierce one. Big claws. Maybe a falcon or something?" Adrienne knew nothing about birds. "It's a crimson sort of colour, where a pocket would be on a preppier shirt. And the shirt is black, with two red stripes across the torso and sleeves. It's gonna look real nice on you. Trust me."

Matt did like red and black. Red was his favourite colour, "As long as it's fierce and not silly looking," he agreed, stepping out to show her. It seemed like it fit to him. "I don't wear kid stuff with cartoons on it."

"Well that's convenient, because I don't like cartoons," Adrienne answered with a smirk. "Except maybe that Spongebob guy. But that doesn't mean I want him on the shirts of teenage boys. Hold out your arms out at your sides?" she suggested, circling around Matt. "I was right, that looks great on you. Real fierce. Slacks and all. Sue's gonna love it. Not that I'd ever, y'know, help you pick out clothes that might help you someday get laid. Because that would be really inappropriate of me as a Responsible Authority Figure Type Person."

Matt and Sue weren't at the 'getting laid' part yet, but part of him hoped they got there. Especially the part in his pants. They were still making out and holding hands like that was something awesome and Matt was pretty okay with that right now. Maybe other guys had gotten laid and whatever else, but that was them and not him so whatever. Blushing nearly as red as his hair, Matt disappeared back into the dressing room to put on his regular clothes. "You owe me food!" he reminded Adrienne.

"I know, I know," Adrienne muttered with a snort. Now that she knew how things fit him, she could pick a few more things off the racks that he didn't have to try on. "You've tried on enough. I think you've earned lots and lots of food."