The X-Project

With a clean bill of health, Jay spends the Sunday lazing around with Forge and the two talk about the team.

Jay sat on the open tailgate of his truck, hunched over, resting his
elbows on his knees and watching Forge work. The bandages were gone
and little evidence remained of the commotion that occured in the
Danger Room, though he did need to cut off the burnt end bits of his
hair and lifted a hand to finger through it. It was rare that he spent
any time with Forge, what with all their disagreements every time they
got together, that he hated to disturb the peace between them.
Instead, he picked up his guitar that was set behind him and started
strumming through chords, picking through a recent piece of Ben
Taylor's 'I Try'.

Forge looked up from the lathe as it spun to a stop, hefting the
lightweight metal tube and sliding two others inside it, making
measurements with a set of calipers. "So Shiro set you on fire," he
said offhandedly, fitting a threaded cap to one end of the tube. "We
always knew you were a bit flaming, but..."

Jay stopped playing for a heartbeat but he didn't look up.

His fingers continued to pick through the song by ear rather than by
the music sheets that he couldn't seem to get online. "All right smart
ass. So you watched the video? Or just hear from someone?"

"I watch all the Danger Room footage," Forge replied casually. "I make
it a point to learn the capabilities of all my teammates. And the
regular riffraff that occasionally blunders through there like a
spastic." He lowered the piece he was working on and leaned on the
lathe, looking over at Jay.

"Seriously, dude. You've got some messed-up shit in your brain. What
in the world made you think putting yourself in a high-stress
situation with Shiro of all people was a good idea?"

"Shiro's mah boyfriend," he said off the cuff. "It shouldn't have
gotten that far," and he shrugged as if the explanation was obvious,
even though he didn't have one. "Ah dunno what we was thinkin'. Can
you just save the lecture, Dad?"

"If I was your dad, that'd make the whole kissing-your-sister thing
kind of creepy. Well, maybe not. Kentucky and all," Forge said. "And
all the more reason you should never be in the Danger Room with him.
You couldn't control yourself emotionally before the big silver
wings-o'-death, and you're worse at it now. And trust me, Shiro's
secondary mutation seems to be Pissing People Off."

Shaking his head, Forge walked around to lean on the edge of the
truck, stretching his arms out and looking over at Jay. "I know you
need help dealing with what's going on. There's no shame in that, what
happened to you sucked, and there's people here who can help you.
Shiro isn't qualified to be one of them."

It didn't seem to faze Forge that Jay and Shiro were together, which
was surprising because of Forge's bad reaction to Kevin long ago.
Since nothing was really said, Jay didn't press it or the secondary
mutation thing. He lifted his eyes, brushing his bangs from them only
to have them fall back in place and regarded Forge without breaking
rythym.

"Ah'm dealin' with it Forge. Ah ain't complain' about it, Ah ain't
cryin'. Ah'm gonna do somethin' about it." He flattened his palm on
the strings, stilling them. "Ah ain't ashamed. It's just sometimes Ah
--" he snapped his mouth shut and dropped his eyes, considering what
he was going to say and what he kept to himself. There was a lot of
things he guarded now and what he was going through was one of them.
No one needed his burden, he had to handle it himself and there were
limited ways he could do that.

"Ah'm gonna talk to Scott about joinin' the team." Again.

Forge looked up at Jay, then just gave a "Huh" in response. "Suppose
it makes sense. Your reflexes, the wings, your healing factor. You
could be like a flying Logan. Except he's got the whole
crazy-stab-my-momma berserker-barrage thing under control from what
I've seen. You... not so much yet."

He held up a hand to forestall the inevitable protest from Jay before
continuing. "I'm not saying you can't, but I'm saying that mentally
and emotionally, you've got a ways to go. But it's not impossible.
Remember Kyle's temper, back in the day when we were all suitemates?
How he'd go off at the drop of a hat?"

At Jay's nod, Forge gave a small smile. "This doesn't go beyond you,
me, and the truck here, but the other week when we scrambled out to
Wyoming and folks came back all banged up? Well, before that, Kyle
went in and rescued Nate pretty much singlehandedly from the exact
same kind of place that he got rescued from. He had to see them
turning kids into the same kind of soldiers that Mistra was going to
make him into. And you know what?"

Forge's grin grew wider. "He kept it together. Got the job done, when
I don't think anyone would have blamed him for going crazy-go-nuts
university on the whole place. If you can get whatever bad mojo's
inside you under control like that? You've got a shot."

It was Jay's turn to say 'huh' and he settled the guitar in his lap,
letting it hang off his thigh. "Ah know I ain't all in control and Ah
ain't ever been X-Men material, but Garrison thinks Ah need a little
structure, somethin' to focus on cause Silver sure as hell ain't doin'
it and school's not gonna be 'til January." He shrugged, not really
prepared for Forge's support when he had all his defenses up for him
being against it.

"You like being a part of the team, don't'cha?"

Thinking about that for a while, Forge nodded. "You're right. You
never have been X-Men material. You're immature, indecisive,
overemotional, weak-willed, and you're a quitter when it comes right
down to it. Music career got too hard, so you ran back here. You've
never had the guts to fight for anything in your entire life."

Walking around the tailgate, Forge planted one hand on the metal and
vaulted up to sit on the side of the truck's bed, facing Jay directly.
"Let's face it, Jay. Before that Blaquesmith guy fucked with you, you
were a pink-feathered sissy. Now you're a blue-skinned sissy with
razor wings and a killer instinct. That being said - if you want to be
something better, you can be. And if you want to be an X-Man
for the right reasons? Then I will support you every step of the way.
But if it's just because you're lost and need something to do? That's
not the right reason, Jay."

He looked down for a moment, tapping his fingers together before
looking up at his friend, brown eyes meeting hunter's yellow. "Do I
like being a part of the team? It's where I need to be, using the
gifts I have to accomplish amazing things. What else is there to like
in life but doing what you're best at?"

"Ah ain't lost," Jay said defensively. "Though Garrison's right, Ah
need help with it cause Ah don't know what Ah'm doin' right now." He
was in the Danger Room with Garrison, going over programs and training
towards something but he felt it wasn't enough and that his control
was more or less going feral on him instead of actually being able to
get a grasp on it. "Ah ain't gonna get any better and Ah'm kinda sick
of being shit on, the smaller guy. Red X don't seem to work for me -
they put me on communications n' havn't asked me back in awhile, not
even for that, so Ah dunno what's going on there." He had a feeling
they didn't know what to do with Jay at this point, since the last
mission, Jay had been on a low profile with them and they with him.

"You always knew what you wanted to do. Like what you're good at. Ah
ain't good at anythin' now except entertainin' a crowd," and even
then, Bartending Flare was not where he pictured himself at
this point in life. "And that ain't an option much now. So," he
shrugged. "Everythin' pointin' at the team. Ah dunno if it's a career
choice, more like, somethin' to point me in the right direction,
yanno?"

"When I started training with the team," Forge said, "I had no
intention of being an X-Man. I just didn't want to be weak. A
liability when they'd need me. Things kind of grew from there...
I grew from there. That's how it starts."

He reached out and clasped Jay's shoulder, giving a friendly squeeze.
"You want to do this, I'll have your back. But don't forget, having
your back means I'm the closest when it comes to kicking your ass."