The X-Project

(Backdated) After this text, Darcy brings Clint food and a lecture. Talk of teams, weapons training, and situational awareness ensue.


Clint raised his arms over his head in a long stretch, then leaned back to crack his spine just between his shoulder blades. Exhaling slowly, he poked at his laptop where he'd set it up near the many varied monitors he and Molly had arranged in the Chapel's second subbasement.

He'd been down here pretty much constantly since the portal had opened and spat Topaz back out -- he hadn't been lying about having a cot. People had come to check on him and he'd switched out with Molly once or twice so he could bathe, but he'd mostly been focused on the Einstein-Rosen bridge that had formed. It was unstable, obviously, but Thor was off-world, which meant any real answers were, as well. He and Jane could hypothesize until they both turned blue in the face, but it wouldn't change the fact that they had no real, material answers about this thing and it could very well turn into a black hole.

Clint had seen that episode of Stargate, he didn't think anybody on this planet or even Asgard could fix a black hole.

"I'm going to watch you eat this, and then you're going to tell me the very specific spikes in data I'm looking for so you can sleep for a few hours." Darcy's voice was as sharp as the click of her heels across the floor of the chapel. A thermal bag was set on the table in front of him, thermos next to it. "And after you sleep we can have a long, terrible conversation about why I'm so mad at you, including at least one side discussion on why we take care of ourselves so we don't interrupt our friend's limited time with their romantic partners, you absolute cockblock!"

She dragged a chair out, settling into it like a throne with her phone in hand. "Eat. Drink. You're not being timed but I expect you to finish at least half of that before we talk science."

Obligingly, Clint opened the containers and started inhaling both food and liquid. "Yes, ma'am. Also, sorry about your significant other thing and the interrupting. Didn't expect you to come down here with real food immediately."

"Not tonight," she waved a hand dismissively, setting her phone down. "Last time you did this shit I had plans to seduce my girlfriend, and then she had to come babysit you because you'd rather kill yourself like an idiot than ask for help or get a rotation set up. You don't need Thor OR Jane to have perfectly smart people around that you can explain the monitoring system too. Molly. Sue. Doug's not a "science bro" but he could probably pick up fluctuations in the patterns just by looking at the data for 5 minutes."

Darcy took a deep breath. "Look dude. I can be upset at you and pull my weight on something I actually know things about. I mean, it's even shittier to realize you think THAT poorly of me, but we don't have to be friends for me to act like a fucking professional." She snatched her phone back up, lips pinched. "I said we'd talk about this after you got a few hours, and I meant it. Eat. Hygiene. At least 3 hours of sleep. And don't call me ma'am again."

“Whatever,” Clint said through a mouthful. “I can be polite.” He finished chewing and swallowed, then looked at Darcy and said seriously, “I don’t doubt your professionalism or your ability to handle shit.” He gestured toward the equipment around him, the monitors showing all kinds of continuous readings and their corresponding graphs. “Me being a dick had nothing to do with you and I’m sorry I treated you the way I did. It was easier than dealing with the mess I left behind and burying myself down here was the best way I could figure to avoid all the people I upset. Which is also shitty.”

"You know better than to let me get it built up," Darcy replied, reaching over and flicking him in the bicep. "I would've yelled for a few minutes, punched you in the shoulder, then probably cried and fed you. Which I'm kinda doing anyways, but without the crying because I'm a little less stressed out now.. and I guess the shoulder punch can be replaced with a good sparring session. Probably should branch out who I'm sparring with anyways... I know, I know, Darcy willingly in the gym doing more than walking on a treadmill, right?" She gave him a small smile. "And it gives you an excuse to knock me on my ass for being a jerk, which I have been. I'm.. a little apologetic for that. I shouldn't have reached out until I could keep my diplomacy hat on. But you have to be healthy for that, so no more of this bullshit hermit nonsense because I'm on an actual team now and do not have the time to add 'treat Clint like a damn toddler' to my schedule."

Reaching out with one arm, his free hand still shoveling food into his face, Clint gave Darcy a side hug and said, "Yeah, no. I'm over the hermiting thing. Tell me all about your team, cause that's awesome and once I get my SWORD back pay for the last two years figured out, I'ma buy you some cake to celebrate."

"You know most of X-Force, I think? But yeah, it's just. I don't know, it's really great being constantly encouraged to learn more, to round out my skills. Kevin's teaching me how to use what I already know more effectively, actually getting.. okay, honesty time, having to see my actions all the way through in Baltimore actually sucked, although now I know how to properly dismember a body and dump it. And the running sucks, even with a great sports bra. The rest of it though, gathering information and putting those leaps together is just.. I really enjoy it." She leaned briefly into Clint's side hug. "If they give you issues about back pay I know an employment lawyer that's dealt with letter agencies before. I owe him a favor but don't mind making it two, especially to stick it to SWORD."

"Oh, they'll give me my back pay," Clint said, eyes glinting steely. "I'm not worried about that." Then he seemed to shake off the moment and worked up another smile. "Congrats on learning some of what there is to know about body disposal. You get a second kind of cake for that." He was going to ask how she'd disposed of the dismembered body, but then thought better of it, given how vehemently she'd said Baltimore sucked. "I'm glad you're enjoying the team -- it's important to gel with your peeps, y'know? Seems like you've got that. Tasha teaching you any fun tricks?"

"Yeah, I lost a shirt to it, but I'm not having nightmares about the smell of burning flesh or the sound of teeth being pulverized anymore, so." Darcy shrugged inelegantly, face taking on a mischievous look. "Doug's my most frequent sparring partner, although I probably need to branch out. Hard to focus on improving when my mind is thinking about bedroom things instead. Kevin's doing most of the rest of it, or delegating out."

Snorting softly, Clint said, "Yeah, I'll bet Doug's enjoying those sparring sessions. I'll toss my hat in the ring for that whenever you like. Leverage and momentum and things are fun to work with. You ever wanna learn how to shoot a bow, you let me know. I'm 100% there for it."

"He likes being healthy enough to enjoy working out again," Darcy agreed with a waggle of her eyebrows. "But yes, more sparring partners. And probably to learning how to shoot a bow. Knife throwing. Y'know, whatever I might need or want in a tight spot. Teach me all the things."

"Oh, knife throwing," Clint said, grinning. "Is somebody already teaching you knife fighting?"

"Nooooooo," Darcy said slowly. "Just handguns and hand to hand, so far. Little bit on improvised objects, but that's more.." she trailed off, hunting for the right words. "Paying attention to the environment for what you could grab or use if things go south, not actually doing it? Probably want time in the DR for that, honestly."

"Situational awareness," Clint said, nodding along. "Anything can be a weapon. I know a guy who wound up throwing ink cartridges out of a printer during a fight in an office -- fuckin' magenta and cyan everywhere. Not nearly as pretty as Holi, seriously." He hummed softly to himself. "Then he threw the printer at them. Plus hole punchers, staplers... potted plants. Man, offices are great for improvised weapons... if you can get your hands on a fire extinguisher..."

"Yeah, if you've got the upper body strength to heft it... or just spray it in someone's eyes. Nobody likes that. Or running into a surprise open filing cabinet." Darcy grinned at him. "So, you and me, DR, situational awareness run against the AI sometime?"

"Yesssssssssssss," Clint said, nodding along as Darcy spoke. He grinned, then paused and asked, "You do arm day, right?"

"Enough to not go noodle arms while I'm on the range, why?" Darcy asked warily. "Mostly light hand weights or body resistance because I actually like the way my body looks and don't want to end up looking like a weightlifter."

"What, you don't wanna have a pair of these for your very own?" Clint asked, holding his arms out in front of himself as he flexed them hard. He relaxed a second later, half-laughing. "Nah, I gotcha. But what I'm hearing is we're gonna be training you in the bow, knife fighting, and situational awareness, huh? And maybe making sure you've got the upper body strength to hurl office supplies at baddies coming after you."

Darcy laughed as Clint flexed. "If I have the boob show AND the gun show I'm never going to find a shirt that fits again. But yeah, I'm up for learning whatever and getting stronger while I do it." She nudged him with an elbow. "Food's gone, you still need to hygiene and sleep. Show me what the normal range of this is and how far an anomaly needs to deviate before I flag it so you can get that done."