Amanda and Nico - Questions Answered
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xp_logsIn the aftermath of the past few days, Nico has a lot of questions. And this time, Amanda gives her the answers.
Standing outside of that door was suddenly giving her feelings she hadn't had before. Fear was one, but not for herself, as she had experienced plenty of times, but for the woman on the other side. Curiosity was another one, pretty strong also. Rage...yeah, that was there as well; in a way, Nico felt Amanda had her reasons -very good reasons- for not telling her more about her past, but on the other hand, she felt a little betrayed. Rising up her hand, she knocked, once, twice, and couldn't help but hope nobody answered.
"Just a minute!" came the older witch's voice through the door and after a moment it opened, revealing Amanda herself in the process of buttoning up a loose, light cotton shirt that looked suspiciously like one of the ones Angelo wore on his days off. The Brit looked pale and tired, dark circles under her eyes and her face a little hollow, but she managed a brief smile for the girl on her doorstep. "Nico. Hey. I had a feeling you might show up. Come on in."
Well, at least she had a feeling. Nico decided she was not going to be mad at Amanda, mainly because she felt like hugging her right there by the door frame; she looked like crap, and most likely felt like that. Entering in silence, Nico looked around, not sure of what she was looking for. "So...how are you? And don't say fine if you value your health."
"You sound more like me every day," Amanda replied with a tired chuckle. "I'm wiped and my back's killing me, but I've been worse. And that's the truth." She gestured at the couch, where she'd been obviously camped, to judge by the blanket, the half-drunk cup of tea on the coffee table and the paused DVD of Little Britain on the TV screen. She snapped the latter off with the remote as she resumed her seat. "Come and sit down. You look like you've got a lot on your mind."
Her mentor's words made her sigh. "You could say that I learn fast." And that sentence came with a forced smile on her own. "I trust you." She did, but why she did? Maybe that wasn't the moment to ask herself that. She almost, almost snorted at the screen going off, but managed to restrain it; she looked a little brighter for a second though. Sitting on the couch, Nico sighed again. "Lately I've got a lot on my mind, yes." How should she begin? "But the newest stuff...well, it's new, so I've been thinking on that exclusively." Alright, she sucked at this.
"Ah." Amanda looked, perhaps, a little shamefaced at the declaration of trust. Recent events probably didn't warrant it. "Want to talk about this new stuff? Spread it over two brains, that sort of thing? I don't mind, whatever it is." It was as much as an invitation for Nico to ask her questions as she could give and still give her the room to make the choice.
Nico took her time before giving Amanda a decided look. "Alright, let's do that." But she went silent again, trying to find a way to say what she wanted without sounding either demanding or perhaps a bit insulting. "She was Selene, the Selene Bad Witch Who Sucks Energy Out of People." She needed to state that first. "And, you two know each other, and she what, made you some sort of energy sucking device? And then that other weird woman, and the whole Evil Association Of Rich Bastards." Yeah, it was quite a lot of stuff. "I think this is the part in the movies where the mysterious character says 'It's a long story'; fortunately I have a long attention span?"
"Something like that, yeah." Amanda began to settle back onto the couch, winced, and sat up again. "Basically I have to give you my whole life history, for all of it to make sense. And I will, if you want it." She gave a small shrug. "There's a lot of drama and shite, and a lot of it was my own doing. But I think you probably deserve to know who's teaching you."
A slow nod marked her agreement. "Yeah, I think that would be the right thing." It made her think of her own pile of dirty clothes buried deep down her skin, and what should she do about that. "I'm all ears, and I think that if someone should be able to understand...that would be me."
"All right then. Better make yourself comfy." Amanda reached for her tea and took a sip, marshalling her thoughts. "Right. I was two when I was taken from my family by a black magician calling himself Rack..."
==================
That had been one heck of a long history.
Nico hasn't been counting, but between she and Amanda they had probably had enough tea to drown a man; she wasn't sure of how many times she had been on the edge of tears, or about to interrupt her, pissed at the way things had gone for her; she had allowed the witch to tell everything first then. "I didn't...I didn't know", muttered, looking down a little. All the pain Amanda had gone through seemed a little unreal for someone who could stare right and her and be kind and caring, and even funny; people like that couldn't possibly have lived through all that. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't even have the faintest idea..."
"Don't," Amanda said, and for a moment her voice was almost stern, despite the slight raspiness of having been talking for so long. "Don't apologise, Nico. You didn't know because I didn't tell you and there's no way you would have had any idea. So no apologies, all right?" Her tone and expression softened a bit. "I should say I'm sorry to you, for not telling you at the start. I s'pose I thought I was protecting you. Or protecting myself. I should've known better - this shite always comes back to bite us in the arse."
It startled her initial reaction, but Nico understood the woman had a point. "Maybe you were protecting us both, but yeah, chances are sooner or later I would find out from someone else...I wouldn't have liked that." Mainly because it would probably feel like betrayal, although she wasn't sure who would be betraying who; it was all too confusing. "But you are a good person, your magic is meant to do good things, you just..." Nico waved her hands. "Wrong place, wrong time, wrong tutor, I think? And after all...well, here you are. And if you asked me, I would totally say I would act pretty much like you did." Yeah, quite a pupil she was, making the same mistakes, but it was an honest answer.
That got a chuckle out of Amanda. "Oh, I know. Which is why I took you on in the first place - seeing you was like looking in a mirror, and I don't want you ending up where I was, signing up with the Queen of Suck, as Jubes calls her." She stretched a little. "But you'll make your own mistakes, I know that. I just want to be around to help you sort them out when they happen."
And she blushed, a bit flattered and a lot prideful. "If you say so", ventured as she relaxed a bit. "Queen of Suck is appropriate for her." And she certainly hoped she wouldn't see Selene ever again; once was good enough. Then came the supportive time, and Nico hated those because it made her uncomfortable, as if she already owned Amanda for it, and she was sure she did anyway. It also brought up other stuff. "Thanks, really." She lowered her head even more, smiling a little as her fingers slowly destroyed a paper napkin. "Months ago, when I was on the streets..." She stopped, the smile on her face stiff.
Amanda leaned forward and lay her hand over Nico's, stilling the napkini shredding. "Don't feel like you have to tell me if you aren't comfortable, grasshopper," she said gently. "This isn't I'll show you mine if you show me yours. No obligation, yeah?"
"I know", managed to spat before her voice broke, slowly placing her head on Amanda's shoulder. "But it has to come out, it needs to; anything can stay buried forever, I guess." She closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down. "It was...cold outside, and I didn't have the kind of clothes you use when winter is getting closer and closer. Where I was...shoplifting was difficult, dangerous. I was hungry." Lifting her head so she could see Amanda, Nico opened and closed her eyes as she tried to finish. "It wasn't too difficult; you could tell where they gathered, waiting for cars to pass...that very same day I found out there was certainly a thing for asian looking girls, heh." The laugh didn't have an inch of humor though. "For some nights it was fine; I hated it and hated myself, but I had food and clothes. And then...and then this guy stopped by." She felt silent, looking at somewhere past the dark TV screen, unconsciously holding Amanda's hand in a tight grip.
"It's hard, out on the streets," came Amanda's reply as she slipped her free arm around Nico's shoulders. "You do what you have to do."
"He wanted more; he wanted to hurt me, hit me; he did hit me, we never agreed to that, it was insane." Her voice was low and monotone, as she felt a jolt of anger rising inside of her. "He made me bleed, and I...stopped thinking." Nico blinked, turning towards Amanda in an absent way. "He raped me and I killed him." And then she started crying.
The arm around the shoulders became a slight tug as Amanda pulled the sobbing girl towards her and wrapped both arms around her. "I know, love," she murmured. "You were protecting yourself, the only way you had. You were helpless and he took advantage and if you hadn't done something, he might have done worse to you." She rocked Nico slightly, remembering Moira doing the same for her during the worst of her addiction and when she came back from Selene's.
It was comforting. She felt stupid and pathetic and couldn't stop the tears, and Amanda was comforting. She hated that moment, and also loved it. She heard the woman, but only managed to nod energetically, arms wrapping around her as she buried her head on her shoulder. The minutes passed slowly until Nico felt she couldn't cry more, and she stopped. "Well", managed to say in a shaky voice. Rising her head she gave the woman an equally shaky smile.
"We both look like shit now."
Amanda laughed out loud at that, hugging Nico tightly before loosening her hold so the girl could breathe. "You know, you'll be all right, grasshopper. You really will," she said with a smile. "You're as stubborn as I ever was." She reached over for the box of tissues that lived on her coffee table - magical nosebleeds were certainly not a regular part of her life any more, but she still got them occasionally - and passed it to her sniffling apprentice. "Tell you what, you go clean up in my bathroom and I'll order in some Chinese and we can eat ourselves silly and watch movies. I'll drive you back to the school in the morning. That sound like a plan?"
For all response Nico just gave her a bright smile, which made some odd contrast with her puffy eyes and constant sniffing, but the feeling was there. Nico nodded, holding the tissue box; that had been the best therapy she had ever had in her life. "Yes, sounds like a plan." Food and movies were just what the two of them needed apparently. That, and time.
Standing outside of that door was suddenly giving her feelings she hadn't had before. Fear was one, but not for herself, as she had experienced plenty of times, but for the woman on the other side. Curiosity was another one, pretty strong also. Rage...yeah, that was there as well; in a way, Nico felt Amanda had her reasons -very good reasons- for not telling her more about her past, but on the other hand, she felt a little betrayed. Rising up her hand, she knocked, once, twice, and couldn't help but hope nobody answered.
"Just a minute!" came the older witch's voice through the door and after a moment it opened, revealing Amanda herself in the process of buttoning up a loose, light cotton shirt that looked suspiciously like one of the ones Angelo wore on his days off. The Brit looked pale and tired, dark circles under her eyes and her face a little hollow, but she managed a brief smile for the girl on her doorstep. "Nico. Hey. I had a feeling you might show up. Come on in."
Well, at least she had a feeling. Nico decided she was not going to be mad at Amanda, mainly because she felt like hugging her right there by the door frame; she looked like crap, and most likely felt like that. Entering in silence, Nico looked around, not sure of what she was looking for. "So...how are you? And don't say fine if you value your health."
"You sound more like me every day," Amanda replied with a tired chuckle. "I'm wiped and my back's killing me, but I've been worse. And that's the truth." She gestured at the couch, where she'd been obviously camped, to judge by the blanket, the half-drunk cup of tea on the coffee table and the paused DVD of Little Britain on the TV screen. She snapped the latter off with the remote as she resumed her seat. "Come and sit down. You look like you've got a lot on your mind."
Her mentor's words made her sigh. "You could say that I learn fast." And that sentence came with a forced smile on her own. "I trust you." She did, but why she did? Maybe that wasn't the moment to ask herself that. She almost, almost snorted at the screen going off, but managed to restrain it; she looked a little brighter for a second though. Sitting on the couch, Nico sighed again. "Lately I've got a lot on my mind, yes." How should she begin? "But the newest stuff...well, it's new, so I've been thinking on that exclusively." Alright, she sucked at this.
"Ah." Amanda looked, perhaps, a little shamefaced at the declaration of trust. Recent events probably didn't warrant it. "Want to talk about this new stuff? Spread it over two brains, that sort of thing? I don't mind, whatever it is." It was as much as an invitation for Nico to ask her questions as she could give and still give her the room to make the choice.
Nico took her time before giving Amanda a decided look. "Alright, let's do that." But she went silent again, trying to find a way to say what she wanted without sounding either demanding or perhaps a bit insulting. "She was Selene, the Selene Bad Witch Who Sucks Energy Out of People." She needed to state that first. "And, you two know each other, and she what, made you some sort of energy sucking device? And then that other weird woman, and the whole Evil Association Of Rich Bastards." Yeah, it was quite a lot of stuff. "I think this is the part in the movies where the mysterious character says 'It's a long story'; fortunately I have a long attention span?"
"Something like that, yeah." Amanda began to settle back onto the couch, winced, and sat up again. "Basically I have to give you my whole life history, for all of it to make sense. And I will, if you want it." She gave a small shrug. "There's a lot of drama and shite, and a lot of it was my own doing. But I think you probably deserve to know who's teaching you."
A slow nod marked her agreement. "Yeah, I think that would be the right thing." It made her think of her own pile of dirty clothes buried deep down her skin, and what should she do about that. "I'm all ears, and I think that if someone should be able to understand...that would be me."
"All right then. Better make yourself comfy." Amanda reached for her tea and took a sip, marshalling her thoughts. "Right. I was two when I was taken from my family by a black magician calling himself Rack..."
==================
That had been one heck of a long history.
Nico hasn't been counting, but between she and Amanda they had probably had enough tea to drown a man; she wasn't sure of how many times she had been on the edge of tears, or about to interrupt her, pissed at the way things had gone for her; she had allowed the witch to tell everything first then. "I didn't...I didn't know", muttered, looking down a little. All the pain Amanda had gone through seemed a little unreal for someone who could stare right and her and be kind and caring, and even funny; people like that couldn't possibly have lived through all that. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't even have the faintest idea..."
"Don't," Amanda said, and for a moment her voice was almost stern, despite the slight raspiness of having been talking for so long. "Don't apologise, Nico. You didn't know because I didn't tell you and there's no way you would have had any idea. So no apologies, all right?" Her tone and expression softened a bit. "I should say I'm sorry to you, for not telling you at the start. I s'pose I thought I was protecting you. Or protecting myself. I should've known better - this shite always comes back to bite us in the arse."
It startled her initial reaction, but Nico understood the woman had a point. "Maybe you were protecting us both, but yeah, chances are sooner or later I would find out from someone else...I wouldn't have liked that." Mainly because it would probably feel like betrayal, although she wasn't sure who would be betraying who; it was all too confusing. "But you are a good person, your magic is meant to do good things, you just..." Nico waved her hands. "Wrong place, wrong time, wrong tutor, I think? And after all...well, here you are. And if you asked me, I would totally say I would act pretty much like you did." Yeah, quite a pupil she was, making the same mistakes, but it was an honest answer.
That got a chuckle out of Amanda. "Oh, I know. Which is why I took you on in the first place - seeing you was like looking in a mirror, and I don't want you ending up where I was, signing up with the Queen of Suck, as Jubes calls her." She stretched a little. "But you'll make your own mistakes, I know that. I just want to be around to help you sort them out when they happen."
And she blushed, a bit flattered and a lot prideful. "If you say so", ventured as she relaxed a bit. "Queen of Suck is appropriate for her." And she certainly hoped she wouldn't see Selene ever again; once was good enough. Then came the supportive time, and Nico hated those because it made her uncomfortable, as if she already owned Amanda for it, and she was sure she did anyway. It also brought up other stuff. "Thanks, really." She lowered her head even more, smiling a little as her fingers slowly destroyed a paper napkin. "Months ago, when I was on the streets..." She stopped, the smile on her face stiff.
Amanda leaned forward and lay her hand over Nico's, stilling the napkini shredding. "Don't feel like you have to tell me if you aren't comfortable, grasshopper," she said gently. "This isn't I'll show you mine if you show me yours. No obligation, yeah?"
"I know", managed to spat before her voice broke, slowly placing her head on Amanda's shoulder. "But it has to come out, it needs to; anything can stay buried forever, I guess." She closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down. "It was...cold outside, and I didn't have the kind of clothes you use when winter is getting closer and closer. Where I was...shoplifting was difficult, dangerous. I was hungry." Lifting her head so she could see Amanda, Nico opened and closed her eyes as she tried to finish. "It wasn't too difficult; you could tell where they gathered, waiting for cars to pass...that very same day I found out there was certainly a thing for asian looking girls, heh." The laugh didn't have an inch of humor though. "For some nights it was fine; I hated it and hated myself, but I had food and clothes. And then...and then this guy stopped by." She felt silent, looking at somewhere past the dark TV screen, unconsciously holding Amanda's hand in a tight grip.
"It's hard, out on the streets," came Amanda's reply as she slipped her free arm around Nico's shoulders. "You do what you have to do."
"He wanted more; he wanted to hurt me, hit me; he did hit me, we never agreed to that, it was insane." Her voice was low and monotone, as she felt a jolt of anger rising inside of her. "He made me bleed, and I...stopped thinking." Nico blinked, turning towards Amanda in an absent way. "He raped me and I killed him." And then she started crying.
The arm around the shoulders became a slight tug as Amanda pulled the sobbing girl towards her and wrapped both arms around her. "I know, love," she murmured. "You were protecting yourself, the only way you had. You were helpless and he took advantage and if you hadn't done something, he might have done worse to you." She rocked Nico slightly, remembering Moira doing the same for her during the worst of her addiction and when she came back from Selene's.
It was comforting. She felt stupid and pathetic and couldn't stop the tears, and Amanda was comforting. She hated that moment, and also loved it. She heard the woman, but only managed to nod energetically, arms wrapping around her as she buried her head on her shoulder. The minutes passed slowly until Nico felt she couldn't cry more, and she stopped. "Well", managed to say in a shaky voice. Rising her head she gave the woman an equally shaky smile.
"We both look like shit now."
Amanda laughed out loud at that, hugging Nico tightly before loosening her hold so the girl could breathe. "You know, you'll be all right, grasshopper. You really will," she said with a smile. "You're as stubborn as I ever was." She reached over for the box of tissues that lived on her coffee table - magical nosebleeds were certainly not a regular part of her life any more, but she still got them occasionally - and passed it to her sniffling apprentice. "Tell you what, you go clean up in my bathroom and I'll order in some Chinese and we can eat ourselves silly and watch movies. I'll drive you back to the school in the morning. That sound like a plan?"
For all response Nico just gave her a bright smile, which made some odd contrast with her puffy eyes and constant sniffing, but the feeling was there. Nico nodded, holding the tissue box; that had been the best therapy she had ever had in her life. "Yes, sounds like a plan." Food and movies were just what the two of them needed apparently. That, and time.
