The X-Project

Gail lets her daughter know what's going on.



"Mom?" Laurie whispered, slowly opening the door to her mother's hospital room with almost exaggerated care. She'd finally been let in to see her mother after a battery of tests and doctors seemingly crawling out of the woodwork. No one had really told her anything, and she'd finally given up trying to ask.

"Hey, sweetheart." Gail's voice, usually so full of energy, was flat and tight, as if she was holding something in. Still, she smiled faintly as Laurie came in, lifting a hand briefly from the bed to beckon her over. "I gave you a scare, didn't I? I'm sorry."

Laurie walked over to the bed and sat down, taking her mother's hand in her own and squeezing. "It's okay. They said you've got to stay in here for awhile."

Gail's hand lay limply in Laurie's, the smile fading as pain darkened her eyes. "I'm afraid so, love."

"You're going to be okay though, right?"

Laurie squeezed her mother's hand again, trying not to show the sudden fear that had gripped her at the pain she'd noticed in her eyes. This was Gail Collins, her mother, there was no way something like a little sickness was going to beat her.

Gail opened her mouth to give a reassuring lie, but looking at her daughter's pale, scared face, she closed it again. "Laurie..." she began, pain flickering through her face. "Honey, there's something I need to tell you. This... it's not new. It's something I've been dealing with for some time."

It was a shock, and Laurie went even paler if that were possible, her hand dropping from Gail's and gripping at her knees. "What's wrong with you?" she finally asked, wanting to take the question back almost immediately, to somehow pretend that everything was fine and her mother would remain the invincible woman Laurie had always thought her.

"About sixteen years ago, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer," Gail said softly. Sugar-coating it wouldn't do Laurie any good, and her daughter wouldn't forgive her for keeping the secret if she... if things didn't go well. "They've been able to force it back into remission a few times, but it keeps coming back." She shifted a little, discomfort plain. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, honey. This last remission... we were hoping for the best."

"It went into remission though, right? So that means they could fix it this time as well."

Laurie clenched her jaw for a second, refusing to give into the urge to lay her head down on her mother's shoulder and hold on tight. It wasn't what was needed right now, her mother was in pain and didn't need her increasing that, no matter how much she needed the hug.

"They're hopeful." Gail reached over and lay her hand on Laurie's arm, recognising her daughter's iron-tight grip on herself. "And so am I. I've beaten back for this long, it's not going to get the best of me this time. But I'm going to be sick for a while. There's treatments... radiotherapy and the rest. It takes a lot out of me. I'll need you to help me through it, okay?"

"Okay." Laurie replied softly, giving in to the urge to lay her head on her mother's shoulder at last. "Mom, I'm scared."

"So am I," Gail said, almost too softly to be heard. "But we can get through this, Laurie. I know we can." Her hand, moving to her daughter's head, was as steady as she could make it. Her face, however, twisted slightly as she fought to contain her own tears. Each time she'd fought her way back into remission, and each time the cancer came back. She was getting tired, so very tired of fighting.