The X-Project

"Here. Have a glass of ... toxic-looking green fizzy stuff." Monet handed one to Illyana and eyed her own suspiciously. "I can't help thinking it's going to come to life and try to take over the universe or something. It's just so ...green."

Illyana frowned at her glass. "Are we entirely sure this isn't some kind of plot? To make us, you know, mutate. More." She waved her free hand at the assembled prom-goers, then looked at Monet. "Mass chaos and violence and whatnot. It could happen."

"It could, yeah. I mean, half the teachers here have suddenly changed gender on us and all that. Why can't lime soft drink make oh," Monet glanced around, "Mondo grow horns and a tail. There'd be chaos if it did that."

Illyana made a face. "It might actually improve him, you never know - anyone who is that excited about people could probably stand a bit of violence. And on the topic of gender, let's not discuss how deeply, deeply traumatizing it is that Mr. Haller is now a woman. He made it into this whole 'learn to communicate' thing, which isn't fair play at all, I don't think, even without the cooking lesson." She looked distrustfully down at the green stuff, then shrugged, taking a sip.

"Aww, bubba. I'm sorry." Monet wiped away a tear. "He makes a kind of hot woman, though. You couldn't just go with the flow, admire the pretty? I'm be all for admiring the pretty, myself. I mean, seriously, take a look at Marie-Ange. You can't just admire her - his - new shoulders? They're very nice shoulders."

Illyana tried to smother her smile, but failed. "Sounds like you've been doing enough admiring for the both of us," she said, just about as neutrally as she could. Which wasn't very, when it came down to it. "Anyway, I just happen to like stability, that's all. For example, people staying in generally the right - shape."

"Possibly? But really, where's the harm to it, if they turn into really attractive people, huh? It'd be bad if they all went old or hideous but they're just ... really attractive people."

"Which strangely has made so few of the annoying ones any less annoying," Illyana said mildly. "I mean, if they all just stood around, it would be different."

"Yeah, well, they didn't get personality transplants with it. Tho' it'd be funny as hell if they had. Imagine, Jean running around thinking she was Cain. It'd be a pisser. Wonder if someone could swap their brains around?" Monet smiled thoughtfully, contemplating the image.

Illyana had to take a moment to remember that breathing and drinking didn't actually mix when done simultaneously. "I think I'm kind of terrified by the idea of Mr. Marko thinking he's a woman, let alone that he's Dr. Grey. As cross-dressing goes, that would be - epic. So, funny, but we'd have to hide the photos really, really well."

Monet shuddered. "Yeah. I hadn't actually pictured it till now. I'ms ending you the bill for my therapy. I'm going to need years of it to get rid of the image of Cain thinking he's Dr Grey. Years of therapy!"

"You'll survive," Illyana replied unsympathetically. "Besides, you're the one that came up with the whole switching concept, so I don't think it's quite fair to make me pay for the end result of your extremely troubled imagination. Perhaps you shouldn't picture things like that?"

"A real friend would pay for my therapy. You just don't love me. I'm so traumatized I'm going to have to go and eat one of those little frankfurters."

"Than you really are crazy, because those things are disgusting." Illyana frowned and tugged at a strap on her dress. "More importantly, is this supposed to be uncomfortable? Am I wearing it wrong?"

"Stop that!" Monet tapped Illyana's hand away. "You'll ruin your cleavage if you keep doing that."

"Oh, well, that is definitely my biggest concern at the moment. Isn't this cut a little low?" Illyana looked at Monet and sighed, crossing her arms. "No, I take it back. I'm guessing the answer hasn't changed since the last time I asked."

"No, it hasn't." Monet sighed. "Leave it alone. You're too small to fall out of the dress so you've got nothing to worry about."