The X-Project

Sometimes being strong is more than you can manage. And sometimes comfort comes in unlikely shapes. Like being reminded of a job well done.



Cain stood up from his desk chair, closing the black file folder and sliding it back into the locked drawer. Mission specs and reports were starting to run together in his mind, but someone had to help pick up the slack, with the team being temporarily short-staffed. The smell of tobacco hit his nose, and he paused. The front porch? Remy always smoked out back, and was fastidious about smoke. Besides, Cain remembered, his roommate smoked those fruity little thin cigarettes, and this was the cheap stuff. Opening the front door, he looked down at the smoldering cigarette butt in the empty coffee can before seeing the girl curled up in the chair. "Amanda?"

She started awake, looking confused for a moment, and then realised who was speaking to her. "Cain? What... Oh. I was just... um, I needed some space, an' I don't like t' use the stables since the thing with Paige, an'..." Realising she was babbling in a most unlike-her manner, she clamped down on the nerves, wrapping her arms around herself as the shakes kicked in. "I didn't do anythin' wrong, did I? Just wanted t' keep away, give the psis a break from stuff..."

The girl was a wreck, Cain realized. Hadn't seen her like that in a while. Not since her bad days - the amulet, right.

"No problem," he said, kneeling down by the chair. "Place's got more than enough fresh air to poison your lungs with. If you're, uh, looking for LeBeau though, don't rightly know where the boy's gotten off to."

"Oh. Probably off on a job or somethin'." Amanda curled up more, trying to get a grip - she could handle this, she could. "'S all right, just needed..." What she needed was power, power like what had gotten her hooked in the first place... And then she realised. Cain was right there, and she couldn't feel anything from him. "I can't feel it. The Gem. There's nothin' there," she said, before realising just how that sounded and flinching back a little. "Not that I was tryin' to, y'know. I wouldn't, not after I said!"

A look of confusion crossed Cain's face, shifting into irritation, and then into disappointment. "Your mojo's on the fritz, it's okay," he grumbled. "Trying to reach out for something that's supposed to be there, but ain't? I know what that's like, ain't gonna hold it against you. No harm, no foul."

Noticing how she was shaking, Cain cautiously reached out, placing a hand against the back of the chair, not quite in a comforting gesture, but as close as he could come to the girl. "You know," he said, "back in the war, was more than a few guys who couldn't handle stuff. Turned to whatever they could. Booze, pot, the needle. Didn't see a one of them kick it. I seen what you're going through. And even with that doodad, it can't be easy."

"I'd forgotten what it was like," she admitted, relaxing a little as she realised Cain wasn't going to yell at her for trying to latch onto him with her power, even if she hadn't on purpose. "Rom's charm... I got used to it bein' there, only noticed it when it stopped me from gettin' power for the big spells. An' now..." She shivered again, even though the early morning air was pleasantly warm. "I hate this. Bein' weak. Lettin' people down again." The last words were muttered almost more to herself than anyone else.

"Letting people down?" Cain's eyes bugged out of his head with incredulity. "Shit, girl. Getting a bit forgetful in your old age? Or was it someone else saved Alison's life just a month ago? Saved MY life too. I ain't one to forget things like that. Even if you are," he said, poking her lightly in the shoulder.

She blinked at him, the words not really registering at first through the confusion, the demanding whine in the back of her mind demanding she make the cravings go away. "I did?" Yes, she had, and look where it had gotten her. Strange gone, Rom punishing her by not getting a replacement charm to her right now. "Sorry, you're right. 'S hard t' think, like this." She shrugged a little. "Did what people expected me t' do, that's all."

Musing on that, Cain sat back, rocking on his heels. "Y'ask me," he finally said in that deep gravelly voice he used when talking mostly to himself, "you did what you thought was the right thing. And some times, it turns out to be. Best you can do. Best any of us can do."

With that, he gave a small nod and stood up. "Don't know when Remy's coming back. His bed's made up if you need it, though."

"That'd... that'd be good." She gave him a wan smile. "Don't like Meg seein' me like this, an' I'm gettin' too soft for sleepin' in chairs." She stretched her legs out experimentally, and winced. Pins and needles, ow. "An' that's all I've ever tried t' do, is me best. Just sometimes... shite like this gets in the way. Too bad I can't heal meself, right?" She tried to make it a joke, but it fell flat.

Cain sighed and gave a smile, reaching out an arm to cradle under Amanda's shoulders, half-lifting the girl through the door. "That's why you have friends who'll do it for you," was all he said, as he led her into the boathouse.